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metasdefutebol asked: You are a jackass, your best friend is an asshole, your parents obv didn't love you enough, your boyfriend is pathetic, and you have the lamest 'superpowers' ever. :)

Wow. Um, okay, let’s go through all of these, kiddies.

1. I am a jackass.

2. My best friend is the nicest, kindest person ever and you just happened to fuck him over. He is one of the only good things left in this world. Sorry you didn’t see that.

3. My parents don’t love me and I don’t love them, that’s why I’m a jackass.

4. If you ever call my boyfriend pathetic again I’m cutting your dick off (or what’s left of it after all the steroid use) and feeding it to Erik’s dog. Evan is also one of the only good things left in the world. Fuck off.

5. It’s better than ~adrenaline rushes~. I fear for whoever you fuck and not just for the wave of STDs they will get.